Our Journey (Part 2)

18 Apr

As we continued to consider this little girl with HIV, we began to try to answer the question…Why not a child with HIV?  We had two main questions that we had to answer.  1.Can we afford to parent a HIV child? 2.Is it ok that we live in a community that we feel like we can’t be open about her HIV?

My husband is a pastor of a small rural church and God gives us all that we need, but we are definitely not wealthy.  We thought God probably calls doctors, lawyers, and businessmen to parent HIV children, not a rural pastor and his stay at home wife.  Wrong!

We checked into whether we could add a HIV child to our insurance.  Yes! 
We looked into the costs of copays for prescriptions.  Not too bad. 

Really finances could not be that closed-door for us.  We really believe that everything we own is provided by God and it  belongs to Him.   God will continue to provide for us.  If He has a HIV child for us to parent, He will provide for all of our needs.

So then we turned our focus to the much debated decision of disclosure.  We sought counsel from several different people (our family, our social worker, our HIV doctor’s office, and our state’s department of health).  They agreed with some of our concerns about our rural community, and no one  recommended complete openness about our daughter.

We then asked our agency… Did AWAA feel comfortable with a family if they believed that they needed to keep their child’s HIV private?  I was told that AWAA believes that each family can best make the decision about what to share about their child.  They said we know our community and we will know our child best. 

So we began to feel that if God was calling us to this child maybe privacy is what is best for her.  We also acknowledged that God knows our future and that maybe we will not always live in our town or maybe our community will change. 

So in the end we could not find an answer to why Not?

We really began to not want to find a reason.

Over a month’s time the fears of all the “what ifs?” began to disappear and we gained confidence about parenting a child with HIV.    We were able to say, “Yes” to a very little almost two-year old with the prettiest big eyes and an even bigger smile. 

Earlier this year, we traveled to Ethiopia and brought her home.  She is absolutely precious.  We are so glad we took the step of faith to parent her.  We are truly blessed.  I am definitely not an expert about HIV, but I know a lot more than before.  I look forward to posting more our experience.

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2 Responses to “Our Journey (Part 2)”

  1. KL April 20, 2010 at 12:38 pm #

    Thanks for sharing your thought process about adopting a child with HIV!

    Our thought process was very similar…it took us awhile to open up our hearts and minds to the thought of it, but once we did, we knew for sure that it was what God had in store for our family.

    We have one adopted little girl already, from South Africa, and just a few weeks ago we were matched with a little girl from Zimbabwe who is HIV+.

    We are traveling to get her soon!
    I will definitely be following your blog!

    Thanks again,
    KL

    • Kay April 20, 2010 at 1:37 pm #

      Congratulations KL on your upcoming adoption. That is wonderful! I am so glad more children are coming home!

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